A trap that hyper-conscientious people fall into sometimes.

· Bits and Bobs 4/1/24

If you can't see the other person you will assume the other person hates you.

Even if every interaction is over the top amazing and clear they value you.

"Oh god last night they probably realized that I'm actually an idiot or a jerk and probably hate me."

The only way to disprove it is seeing the person do something proactively positive towards you.

A nice ping can do it, but those have to be proactive, and sometimes they come across as inauthentic or forced.

But in person it can be even easier/cheaper: when they see you they smile and are obviously happy to see you.

Overly conscientious / insecure overachievers might hate WFH for this reason; when they don't see the other person often they can't reset the "ok, today they still like me".