"Just asking questions" can be aggressive.

Answering a question is orders of magnitude harder than asking it.

Especially for complex domains, which can add a few additional orders of magnitude of difficulty.

Some answers are more valuable than others.

Some answers have great cost but little value.

How aggressive it is is a mixture of:

1) How important is it for success for the answer to be distilled and shared?

2) How much does the questioner outrank the other person?

3) How much better at debating is the questioner?

Debating in a live, intense conversation is a particular skill, and is not necessarily correlated with someone's ability to have relevant insights.