Personal growth is not about external forces, it's about internal forces changing.

That is, it's often about a mindset changing.

External forces will get a instrumentalist approach: "do this thing to get this outcome"

A mindset has to be grown, intrinsically. It takes patience and nurturing.

Someone trying to shortcut the path of development might say "Just tell me what to say.", to which the teacher might respond "No, I want you to think differently."