When you're in victim mode you assign blame to your tormenter.

· Bits and Bobs 3/17/25
  • When you're in victim mode you assign blame to your tormenter.
    • You commit a form of fundamental attribution error, with an implied "that other person is actively trying to thwart me."
    • Which is almost never true.
    • The worst thing you can do to a victim when helping them is give them the "yeah the world is out to get you".
    • The best thing you can do is coach them to see the constraints on themselves and others and help them get to a solution mindset, with an iterated series of successive "why" questions about how the other parts work.