Most people I talk with think I agree with them.

That's partially because to understand others' perspectives I work to steelman their ideas back to them to make sure I get it.

But it's also because I have a relentless "yes, and" kind of energy.

You will rarely hear the word "no" from me.

In conversations I'm finding the part I do agree with (perhaps a very small part) and emphatically agreeing on that part.

But they can miss the absence of a "yes" easier than the presence of a "no".^[aey][aez]

They miss what I'm not emphatically agreeing on.

However, they are right in one thing: I think that everyone is inherently reasonable, and understanding how the world looks from their eyes makes everyone better off.^[afa]