Someone who's being too aggressive can make it less likely people will come to agree with them.

  • Someone who's being too aggressive can make it less likely people will come to agree with them.
    • A quote from The Big Lebowski: "It's not that you're wrong, it's that you're an asshole."
    • If people think you're an asshole, they won't want you to be right.
    • They'll get in a defensive crouch, won't be open to how you might be right.
    • You can be an asshole without realizing it, because what matters is what your conversation partner thinks.
      • If you're being overbearing, over-flexing your formal authority, intimidating or exhausting them, they're more likely to see you as an asshole.
    • This can be a self-catalyzing toxic spiral.
    • People aren't listening to you so you push harder, making them see you more as an asshole and becoming even more closed to engaging with you.
    • As people refuse to engage you get more impatient and upset, coming across as more of an asshole.

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